You can't be at the pole and the equator at the same time.
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Tonks
October 11th, 2007 12:07 am
Wardkey #483O-9GH - Entry in Nymphadora Tonks' paper journal

I saw my husband tonight. For a few hours, in a sketchy Muggle pub in a terrible part of London, we were alone. A few hours together. More than I thought we would get. I thought he was dying, broken. I was broken, dying, ready to kill anyone who would keep me from him, regardless of the consequences. We were both entirely fragile. But he looked at me and in just seconds, I was the girl with pink curls dancing with him in his living room to Sarah Vaughn.

When he speaks in Russian, I remember how it was when we were strangers. I remember who he and what he showed me of his Papa, the Neva, and the lessons in the Hermitage. He is the prodigal son returning. And that's who I fell in love with. I knew it then and I know it now. He belongs to them as much as he belongs to me. It just happens those two things can't exist at once. And yet they do, and yet they can't.Collapse )

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Tonks
October 10th, 2007 01:29 pm
Ward Key #78032KLJ - Secure Floo Note to Harry Potter, Lake Cottage

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Tonks
October 10th, 2007 01:00 pm
Interoffice Airplane Memo: Sally Dykes-Slatem

Sally,

What puzzles you always have for me! Always odd getting requisitions from the Azkaban staff, isn't it? Strange lot they are. Don't always have the story straight. Anyway, I did some digging and it looks like there as a big mistake with the paperwork on our end. I've taken care of it and sent in the right forms. I really appreciate you bringing it directly to me.

You ought to stop by Mum's studio sometime. She'd be pleased to see you, probably even ask you to sit for a portrait. I'll make sure you get invited to her next exhibit, all right?

-Nymphadora

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Tonks
October 8th, 2007 09:51 am
Private Post

I guess it shouldn't seem that odd, to be eating cinnamon-and-sugar toast alone at Kingsley's seats-twelve dining room table. I've done it before - well, not the cinnamon toast since I never could find Lee's spice cupboard - but staying at a friend's house post-break-up. Honestly, you'd think I invented this sort of thing I've done it so often. A night turns into a week, and a week turns into a month and before you know it, you're moving right into your friend's life because you can't stand the idea of being alone.

Except that this time it's my marriage that's fallen apart, and my overnight bag, which used to just have a toothbrush and a pair of jeans, comes complete with two children and their cribs, prams, bottles, onesies, and everything else they need every single day. Stranger, still, this is not a real break-up. Feels like one, though, which is almost the same.

Monday means second shift at the HQ, and second shift nowadays means pretty much noon until the next morning, and even then there's never enough time to unravel the mysteries of the day, to quell the suspicion that's behind everyone's eyes. You do what you can, and then you start all over again the next day.

Everyone whispers rumours, and that's nothing new, especially since I'm the Auror Who Married a Death Eater, but in most cases I'm still their superior and so there's no reason for them to be hiding paperwork and skipping check-ins with me. Even our rogue team in Russia has holes the size of Ipswich in their reports. I've been meaning to talk to Moody about that.

But for right now, it's finish my toast, dress Van, re-dress Katya according to whatever shape she wants to be this morning, pack up their things and drop them off at Lake Cottage for the afternoon. And not think about their father. Not wonder, every damn minute, where he is, and if he's safe.

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Tonks
October 6th, 2007 01:08 pm
Note left under a plate of stir-fried vegetables on Kingsley Shacklebolt's kitchen countertop

Lee,

I made these. No, honestly. I cooked, and nothing caught fire. It's your haunted wok. It must like me or something, because I made pan-fried tofu the other day, and it came out perfect, too. Do you know that not a single thing I have ever attempted to cook has come out perfect? There are usually scorch marks all over the kitchen.

I'll be at the Ministry this afternoon, but if you want me to cook dinner, just tell the wok I'll be back at 7:00 after I pick up the twins from Mum's. Thanks for letting me call your high-maintenance, high-fashion, leather-upholstered-everything place home.

-Tonks

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Tonks
September 18th, 2007 06:41 pm
Private Post: Carry On Regardless

I remember when I broke his inkwell, the one owned by Dostoevsky, the first real hint he had of my clumsiness. The first real hint we had of our chemistry, even if we didn't know what it was then. It was just power, like the first time you get a tough spell right; it travels up your wand arm and goes straight to your heart. That's what it was like with him. Straight to my heart.

Sometimes I think there was a reason I was so terrible at romances. There was a reason I fell for people like Lizzie who made run from how awful things were. It was defense. Good old defense, just like we learned at the Academy. Running is a very good defense as you know what you're running from.

I didn't run from Marcellus. And look what's happened.

The thing is, I'm supposed to think he's brave. I mean, I know he is. Braver than brave. Unbelievably courageous. A hero. But all I can really feel is that he's gone. I tell myself the reasons every morning and every night, whisper them like prayers onto my babies' foreheads; he's doing it to save us from unspeakable evil. I know this evil, I've seen it before, and we need all the help we can get. We need people like my Marik who will walk into the evil's own home, risk his life and his very soul to save us all.

But it's hard to remember he hasn't actually left me. Hard, when I have to pretend to friends and family that he's betrayed me. On some level, I'm not really pretending at all. I'm mourning my own losses, I just can't tell the truth about what they are.

There's work to be done, so much work, to keep Auror Headquarters from imploding - or exploding, depending on the Aurors on duty. They make me feel so old. They haven't been through a war. But all I have to do is look in Moody's good eye to know that he, too, knows what's coming. A team has to fall apart sometimes before they come back together, before they're strong, and that's what's ahead of us now. The falling apart. Aurors on their first stakeouts. Aurors with their first battle injuries. Aurors facing their first Death Eaters.

I can only hope they don't meet my husband.

I walk through Mum's studio at night, narrowly avoiding the long-reaching arms of a sculpture that I think is going to be a tree - or a Medusa - and wonder if it's safer tonight than it was the night before to send him a message. Every night I decide against it. I tell myself it's just a matter of security, of keeping him as safe as possible for as long as possible. But the truth is that I simply don't know what to say.

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Tonks
September 12th, 2007 08:01 am
Warded Owl Post: Harry Potter

Harry love,

I was about to write, "Thanks for last night," but it sounded too much like those awful letters that daft girl Dorothea sent me that interminable week we dated back in Auror Academy. Thanks, though, for lying on the floor with me and singing to Almost Independence Day and making hot us cocoa even though it's hardly cold enough for it and talking to me and making me talk, too. It may be girls who want to talk things to death most of the time but sometimes even we think better of voicing some of life's heartbreaks aloud.

There's no one else like you and a Van Morrison record to make me feel like we can make it through this. All of this. There's so much that's gone wrong.

You know how I feel about you and Ron. You can't regret your feelings because we hardly have any sort power over love. Once it winds its way into our hearts, we're gone for it, no matter if our ex falls in love with someone else, no matter if they're off fighting their own part of the war, no matter if things will never be the same way they were, the love in our heart has its own fierce kind of hope. We just have to admire it for what it is while we desperately try to move on.

Let's do this again next week?

I love you, Harry.

-Tonks

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Tonks
September 8th, 2007 11:22 am
Warded Owl Post to Lake Cottage, visible only to Harry, Snape, and Draco

Here are the first of the codes we discussed for establishing contact. One and two are for direct contact in a situation of questionable security with corresponding levels of message priority. Neither should be used from any place inside direct Ministry control. Three and four can be used to temporarily turn any form of mobile communication transport into secure means for person-to-person messaging when both persons have matching codes. Five and six are for use when attempting to contact me while I am at the Ministry. Seven for when attempting to contact me by telephone. Eight is to be used in combination with any of the above when attempting to contact me when I am with more than two other people. Nine is for establishing direct contact with Ivan and Katerina (i.e. whoever is watching them) when I cannot be reached and should only be used in an emergency when all other attempts to establish contact have failed. Ten is for mission compromised, with corresponding levels of security breach.

Codes will change every eight days. None can be used more three times within two hours. Use of an inactive code will trigger immediate alert.

Tell him I don't want to hear from him for the next three weeks until our designated contact date unless it's urgent Order business he can't communicate to anyone else or unless it's about the children. You have to understand, I can't do this any other way. I'm going to make a big show of moving out of the flat this week - maybe move in with Mum and Dad, I'm not sure - and set traps on the place. Vengeful scorned wife and all that, right? Just for show. It's all just for show. I'll come by Lake Cottage on Sunday as we discussed.

Attached is a small piece of parchment on which are visible 27 clear, neat rows of runes, all in Tonks' handwriting.

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Tonks
September 6th, 2007 01:20 pm
Filtered Post: Family

I'm sure you all know that our son and daughter possess incredible magical ability for their age. What you may not know is that our son appears also to have unanticipated physical grace, (especially considering his mother.) Van has astonished us with his mobility by rolling over from his front to his back all on his own! His sister is envious, I can see it in her eyes, and she's been kicking even more than usual as though expecting all of her power to be in her ankles. I think this calls for a family dinner.

Will you all join us at the flat tonight, around 6? I promise I won't be cooking.

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Tonks
August 28th, 2007 12:04 pm
Private Post

I have to admit, the Dolohovs are impressive, in their own way. Their skill at secrecy, double-talk, deniability, and coded communication should be studied. In the past few days, we've had a wrong-address floo call that was a signal for a meeting, a hang-up on the ansaphone that turned out to have a coded message inside about travel arrangements, two letters from cousins tucked into junk-mail owl deliveries, and four one-sentence updates on family in the area delivered, respectively, in mist floating past our window at dawn, steam from the tea kettle, embers from a blown out candle, and smoke from burned toast.Collapse )

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Tonks
August 9th, 2007 11:01 pm
Filtered Post: Friends

Katya has a fever and so I'm staying up to keep an eye on her - although it has possibly traversed into "obsessively checking on her every few minutes" now. So if anyone's awake, you're welcome to come over and have some coffee and watch Stargate: Atlantis with me. I suspect Katya likes Sheppard best (though Van has showed no preference for anything other than Tom Baker's Doctor.)

music: Stargate: Atlantis - The Storm

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Tonks
August 7th, 2007 09:33 am
Owl Post: Draco Malfoy

Cousin,

My husband has been acting strange. I don't mean that he's reacting to having a wall come down on him or that he's feeling the pressure of fathering twins. He's acting the way he acted before he was my husband, when we were still dancing around each other, when he had a secret to keep. He's acting the way he was when he was still "running errands" for his family and he didn't want his Auror girlfriend to find out he was an accomplished thief.

I know better now, Cousin, so what does he need to hide?

I've asked him what's wrong; I've asked if maybe he's gotten a letter from his grandmother that upset him; I've asked him if someone from the Ministry is harassing him. I've asked him so many questions that he just sighs and says, "Nymphadora" and calls Van and Katya by their full names while he lifts them each up over his head in turn like they're flying.

I'd say I was just being paranoid, that I'm taking home the frenzied, fear-stricken attitude at work home with me, but I can see something in his eyes. He looks like a thief with a plan to break into a heavily-warded building.

Please give my best to Severus, and don't mention this to him if you can help it.

Yours,
Nymphadora

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Tonks
July 31st, 2007 10:09 am
Owl Post: Harry Potter, Lake Cottage

Harry,

Harry Birthday, love. Had Draco not reminded me when we were discussing your dinner plans, I would likely have forgotten entirely. You know how lousy I am with birthdays, no matter how I colour-code them on my calendar.

Tell the parchment which date and location you prefer and the tickets will appear. Have fun. And don't you dare tell me there's not the time. There's always time for Van Morrison, even on the eve of a battle, remember?

August
10: Somerset, England, Glastonbury Abbey
24: Poole, England, Lighthouse
25: Plymouth, England, Pavillions
31: Glasgow, Scotland, Royal Concert Hall

September
1: Edinburgh, Scotland, Playhouse
8: Wiltshire, England, Bowood House
14: London, England, Royal Albert Hall

Three tickets appear when Harry selects a date, each with a name attached: Harry, Severus, and Draco. After slight examination, it is revealed that Draco's ticket may be traded in for a pass to the most elegant spa nearest the chosen concert location.

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Tonks
July 22nd, 2007 09:39 am
Note left on Marcellus Dolohov-Snape's bedside table in St. Mungo's

My Marik,

If I am ever buried in rubble, please do not floo call my father and tell him about it until I am freed from the rubble. In fact, don't call until I'm in the hospital. As it is, your father may never forgive me for doing just that - I hardly remember anything that happened after we got news of the museum bombing, but I should have known better than to act in such a manner.

This may be my job, but I'm not used to running incident command when my husband is covered in debris.

I'm sorry I couldn't stay longer this morning. I'm bringing the children back to your mother's and then going back to the Ministry. There's so much to do, I can't even tell you, and half my Aurors have been working for more than 24 hours as it is.

There are things we need to talk about, when you're feeling better.

I love you.

Your Vi

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Tonks
July 21st, 2007 10:13 pm
Floo Call: Lake Cottage

Can you hear me? Is this connecting? Severus? Someone, please.

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Tonks
July 21st, 2007 09:59 pm
Patronus message to Kingsley Shacklebolt

Lee,

There's a reported attack at the museum. A bomb. Marcellus was working late. If he was there, I -

I'm taking a team to investigate right now. But I need help. Your kind.

-Tonks

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Tonks
July 21st, 2007 08:13 pm
Inter-office Paper Airplane - Alastor Moody

Moody,

Emergency alert's been sent. Half the crew is already Apparating right into headquarters, and I'm on the floo with Ron now.

Got your good robes on, old man? Looks like we may have a full night ahead of us.

-T.

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Tonks
July 21st, 2007 08:10 pm
Emergency Notification Appearing to All Aurors on Active Duty

HIGHEST LEVEL PRIORITY - WardKey AL9465314

RESPOND IMMEDIATELY TO SITE ALPHA ALPHA 1-2-1. RESPOND IMMEDIATELY UNTIL OTHERWISE ORDERED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

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Tonks
July 19th, 2007 04:26 pm
Note tucked into Marcellus Dolohov's trouser pocket after lunch

Marik,

I think we got all the tzatziki hand-prints off your collar after lunch, but check in the mirror just in case. I had no idea Katya liked tzatziki - or, well, liked sticking her fingers in it and smearing it all over her brother. I'm dropping our gorgeous, messy children off at Lake Cottage and going to the Ministry for a few hours, but I shouldn't be home very late.

Listen, I was wondering something. I know we talked about going away for a night, and I was wondering if maybe you'd want to go to St. Petersburg. Just for a night. No one would have to know we were there. I find that I miss the Neva, and if I miss it, you must miss it a thousand times more.

Let's talk about it tonight. If you want, we can meet out by the docks at Lake Cottage and introduce Ivan and Katerina to your boat.

Love,
Your Vi

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Tonks
July 18th, 2007 08:05 am
Inter-Ministry Paper Airplane - Alastor Moody

Moody,

I need your permission to confront the person who's been breaking into the secure file area. Firstly, no, I don't know who that person is yet, and secondly, you know what files. You've been reading my notes, I know you have. I'm quite certain there's never been a pile of parchment I've left unattended on my desk that you haven't peeked at.

I need permission - official permission, not just a nod of your head - because I suspect the person is Ministry staff, and I have an even stronger suspicion that the person is an Auror. If I catch him or her, I want to be able to detain and question right then and not have to wait to complete the twelve different forms requiring a senior supervisor's signature and give them a chance to come up with a story.

The proper paperwork is attached. Of course.

Tonks

PS - And don't mention a word of this to Kingsley. Not that you two are likely to just happen to have a chat, but you know how he is when it comes to my aunt.

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Tonks
July 15th, 2007 09:00 pm
Note in Tonks' secure filing system in Auror Headquarters

Update on investigation regarding unauthorized access to file L-576-34 - Lestrange:

- Polyjuice more than likely involved. Ministry clerk Andrew Kendrew (ID 58H9Jk-00 - pending authentication) seems harmless enough but I was wearing Moody's face when I paid him a visit and everyone tries their best to look harmless when they think they're talking to Moody.

- The only problem is he's got alibis for all four times the other "Andrew" hit the files, and when I analyzed his walk (the poor bloke looked like it was an exam) the carriage was all wrong. So either Andrew is an excellent liar and is scheming to have someone else pretend to be him - thus giving himself a twisted but solid alibi - or someone's playing Andrew without him knowing.

- Currently surveilling several suspects, including Andrew and "Andrew." Planning confrontation, and if I can actually catch "Andrew" exiting the file storage, then all the better.

- If you're reading this, Moody, then I did very much enjoy wearing your face to intimidate Ministry clerks. Quite a bit, actually.

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Tonks
July 14th, 2007 03:32 pm
Owl Post: Harry Potter, Lake Cottage

Harry,

Love, seriously. We need to talk. My husband wanted us to just pop by Lake Cottage unannounced and I barely convinced him it was a bad idea. I don't even know what it is I'm covering up, but you can thank me once you tell me what is going on. And don't tell me nothing is going on. I know you.

Also, if I hear the words, 'Snape's helping me' again without a bit more explanation, I'm going to send you and Marcellus away on a nature retreat, or a fishing trip or something, so you can get to know each other better. Just the two of you. In waders in the river. Think about it.

Love,
Tonks

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Tonks
June 29th, 2007 06:10 pm
Auto-Transcription File 72907 - Subject: Daily Schedule

autoscribe on

Thursday needs coverage in New Forest beginning in July. Four Aurors, level 2 only. Friday needs office coverage at two purported haunting sites in Ipswich - send Auror Whitlam on that one, she really needs to get over her fear of ghosts. We need a quarterly staff meeting; Monday morning, maybe, if Moody's in the right mood. Tuesday is fine, so long as -

the sound of a tinny jingle

Oh, thank God, something urgent.

reading Automagic notification...file access? L-576-34 - Lestr - Oh, fucking Christ.

Carol, Carol, I need a log of all visitors to the secure file area in Section D - no, forget it, I'll just go down myself. I'll do the schedule tonight. I'm sure Katya and Van could do this schedule, honestly.

Yes, let them know I'll be right down, and do not, under any circumstances, breathe a word of this to Kingsley. It's best if he isn't involved in anything filed under L.

Autoscribe off

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Tonks
May 12th, 2007 10:43 am
Note left on a pile of clean onesies

Marik,

That was not a nice thing to say to Harry about the jam. It is not your own personal jar of jam, and he was only using a very reasonable amount on the scone. Less than you use, in fact, on your toast every morning. I'll tell him you were just nervous about me leaving you with the twins, but, honestly, you were acting as though he'd gone into your closet and started trying on your clothes.

And speaking of clothes, that's exactly what I'm going out shopping for today. I'll only be gone a few hours, and I've prepared a list of everything you'll need for Van and Katya and where it is. (You're sorry you laughed at my colour-coding now, aren't you?)

If you need anything, call your father. He can tell them apart if you can't.

Love,
Your Vi

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Tonks
May 11th, 2007 09:59 pm
Owl Post: Harry Potter

Dear Harry,

Tell me you're free tomorrow. I haven't been paying enough attention to you and having two shrieking infants is not a good enough excuse. Though, my goodness, can they shriek. Strong voices, these two, honestly.

I'm sorry I've not been available for traditional You and Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend Just Decided You're On a Break practice of you crashing on my floor and the two of us listening to St. James Infirmary and eating ice cream from the carton (and that one time we lit Wheetabix on fire, I don't even remember why now but I remember that went on the list of Required Practices When You're On a Break.)

But tomorrow. I need new clothes, ones that befit my new married mother-of-two-shrieking-infants status. Or at least a few shirts that have an easy-open front for breast-feeding. Will you come shop with me?

Love,
Tonks